


Family Portrait

by Mikkeneko



Series: Ill Luck [3]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-24
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-23 00:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikkeneko/pseuds/Mikkeneko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurogane and Fai return to Nihon at last, and get the surprise of a lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Third part in the 'Ill Luck' series, after "Curse of the Twins" and "The Third Thing."

 

 

It was a chill, blustery spring day in Kyoto; the rain had stopped hours ago, but water still dripped incessantly from the leaves of every tree and bush in the gardens. There was no one in the central garden at the time, which was just as well; the two travelers who emerged from thin air, a brief puff of steam rising from their clothes and breath as they adjusted to the air of the new world, had no interest in an audience.

The blue crackle of light and small whirlwind of air faded in a few moments, but the two men -- one tall and blond, the dark-haired one even taller -- just stood there, staring together at the silhouette of Shirasagi castle against the gray sky.

 

"This feels…" the blond one said with a sigh.

 

"Weird," said the other with a grumble, and his companion gave him a surprised look and a laugh.

 

"Did Kuro-pon read my mind?" he said teasingly. "Or are we going to start doing that married couple thing where we finish each other's sentences?"

 

"Stop that," Kurogane grumbled, giving Fai a light cuff to the head that barely tousled his hair. "As if I'd want to know what goes on in your head most of the time. I just said it's weird 'cause it is."

 

"It feels very strange to be coming home for a change," Fai agreed in a soft voice, and leaned wearily against Kurogane's side. It had been his magic that breached the dimensions one final time and brought them to Nihon; although he'd done it before, the effort it took to carry two people across dimensions had exhausted him. He knew Kurogane felt his weariness but didn't comment on it, only shifted his arm around to support Fai's weight better.

 

"Well, we're not getting anywhere just standing in the gardens," Kurogane said at last, with an irritability that was mostly for show at this point, a mask of grumpiness to cover up his true feelings as Fai had once used smiles. Fai had had years of practice by now in reading the big man's emotions, and what he didn't know, he could guess: happiness, excitement, anticipation, anxiety, and a certain amount of sorrow. It was to be expected; for the first time in years they were setting out in a new world without Syaoran or Mokona by their side, and there was no guarantee that they would ever see their friends again.

 

Instead they were returning home, to a place Fai had only spent one day in his life. It was, as Kurogane had said, a very weird feeling.

 

"Seems just like I remember it," Kurogane commented as they walked through the palace grounds, gravel and grass crunching beneath their boots. "I would have thought more would change. It's been years, hasn't it?"

 

"Years at least," Fai agreed. "I'm not sure how many, though; it's hard to calculate the different flows of time. But I don't think it's been more than ten years, anyway, so it's not like things would have changed all that drastically."

 

"Yeah, well," Kurogane grumbled. They crossed a bridge, their footsteps echoing hollowly over the planks of wood, and he turned them unerringly towards the main palace gate. "I thought things would be a little different, that's all. Don't the groundskeepers have any sense of imagination?"

 

Fai laughed. "Come on now -- if they had changed things around you would be complaining about how they can't leave well enough alone! You just like to grumble for the sake of grumbling."

 

"I do not," Kurogane objected.

 

"You do, grumpy puppy," Fai said with a cheeky grin. Then his smile transformed into something a little more real. "But the palace has been here for centuries, remaining the home of the Divine Emperor through years of change. Is it really all that surprising that it would endure for us, as well?"

 

"Yeah, I guess," was all Kurogane had to say about that. They crossed a deserted gravel strand and stepped up onto the wooden planking of the verandah, and Kurogane looked around to try to orient himself.  He was eager to go see Tomoyo again, but first things first.

 

A serving-woman came around the corner with a tray in her hands, and did a small but gratifying double-take to see them standing there. Somewhat unusually she looked at Fai first, perhaps because his coloring made him stand out. "Lord Flowright, I beg your pardon. What are you doing --" she began, but then her eyes moved to Kurogane and she gasped, hands clutching at the side of her tray. "Lord Kurogane!"

 

"For a start, don't call me 'lord' anything," he said; he had no idea what her name was, but he thought he recognized her from his old life here. "We're back, and that's all there is to it. Now can you take us to an open guest room? The wizard here tired himself out making the journey, and he needs to rest while I see Her Highness."

 

Beside him Fai made a small noise that might have been an objection, but he was leaning too heavily on Kurogane's arm for that to stick.

 

Obviously thrown off balance, the maid redirected herself and backed away down the hallway, gesturing at them with the back of her hand. "Come, this way," she said, and Kurogane followed.

 

They ended up in one of Shirasagi's several guest chambers, more or less identical rooms furnished with neatly woven tatami and elegant, tasteful wall murals. The maid had put out the bedding at Kurogane's request, and Fai sank down on top of it with a relieved sigh.

 

It could have been a hotel room, a tavern room in half a dozen worlds they'd passed through. But it wasn't; it was home. The thought of _home_ still took some getting used to, the idea of staying in one place for more than a few nights. They'd have to find a more permanent set of rooms here, because they were going to be here for months. For _years._ It was bizarre.

 

"It's because it's the same that it's so weird," Kurogane admitted once they were alone again. He sat on the edge of the futon, his back to Fai, and looked out over the view of the garden. "It's just like I always imagined it would be -- just like it. That's great, but…"

 

"But what?" Fai said, his voice muzzy with exhaustion; but he still put out one hand to stroke along Kurogane's human arm, sliding down his forearm to his risk. "It's like a dream that you're afraid to wake up from?"

 

"Maybe," Kurogane allowed. "More like I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop."

 

Fai laughed softly, but didn't reply. His eyes were closing heavily, and Kurogane just sat there, watching him drift off towards sleep.

 

At last Kurogane rose and brushed his clothes straight. "I'm going to find Tomoyo," he said. "With any luck I'll catch her alone -- it's midafternoon, so she should be taking a break right about now. Assuming she hasn't changed her habits in the last ten years."

 

"You're going to bother her while she's indisposed?" Fai mumbled, his eyes still closed.

 

"Of course," Kurogane said with a small smirk. "Those rules apply to normal people, not to me."

 

"Kuro-brute," Fai snorted, then sighed and relaxed. "I'm sure she'll be happy to see you," he said drowsily.

 

"Hope so," Kurogane said. "Need anything?"

 

Fai groaned softly and turned over on his side, face away from the light. "If you could send some food my way that would be great," he muttered. "And some booze, that would be even better. But for now I just want to rest a bit."

 

Kurogane snorted, shaking his head. Fai's priorities never changed. "I'll see what I can do," he said, and left Fai to sleep.

 

The sense of disorientation returned as he straightened up and headed for the doorway. It gave the whole experience a surreal tinge, as though any moment he would wake from the familiar dream and return to the endless journey. How many times had he walked this route in his imagination, retracing the steps along the creaking floorboards and throwing the sliding doors out of his path? He would open the door to Tomoyo's audience chamber and she would be there, seated on her throne, and she would have that damn familiar little smile on her face and welcome him home --

 

He reached her door and threw it open without knocking, still half-believing that this whole day wasn't quite real.  Tomoyo was there, just as he had expected.

 

But she wasn't alone. Another person was sitting on the dais beside her, their faces turned towards each other.

 

Tomoyo lifted her head towards him, and for the first time he had ever known her she looked surprise. He realized, somewhat belatedly, that she was no longer a dreamseer and that for the first time in the twenty years they had known each other, she had not known he was coming. And because he had always assumed that she would see him coming, he had not bothered to knock. "Tomoyo, I'm --" he started to say, and then broke off as further details registered with a dull jolt.

 

Tomoyo and the other person were not merely in close conversation, as he had first assumed. They were actually _embracing,_ Tomoyo perched neatly within their arms as their heads bent together, and her elaborate robes were slightly askew. Kurogane's chagrin at interrupting an obviously private moment battled with a rising indignation; who in all of Nihon would dare to suppose that they had any right to lay hands on the High Priestess like that? He itched to go over and bang this brash swain's head against the ground a few times, just to make sure he knew his place.

 

But the head that was pulling back from Tomoyo's was _blond,_  and nobody in Nihon had hair like that, and the face that turned towards him in surprise and irritation was a familiar one indeed; more familiar than his own face in the mirror, because it was the first one he woke up to every morning.

 

It was _Fai._

 

Kurogane had just walked in on Tomoyo and his lover, cuddling and… and _making out_ in her private chambers.

 

What the everloving _fuck?_

 

"What the everloving fuck," Kurogane said, because he was not much one for hiding his feelings, "is going on in here?"

 

Fai frowned, and his blue eyes narrowed in an icy glare. "What are you doing in here?" he snapped back, his light tenor voice edged with a hard, clipped tone. "The Princess is not taking visitors! What made you think you could just burst into her private chambers without making an appointment -- or knocking!"

 

"What am _I_  doing here?" Kurogane demanded incredulously. He ought to be angry, he supposed, but he just couldn't get past 'shocked.' Fai and Tomoyo were -- Every time he tried to follow this thought to some conclusion it fizzled out in a burst of white static, because he simply could not wrap his mind around the concept of Fai and Tomoyo… cheating on him? Was that even the word? Was that what was happening? What in hell _was_ happening? "You lack-witted wizard, what are _you_ doing here? Who gave you the god damned right?"

 

"I have every right to be here," Fai said frostily, "which is more than I can say for _you._ How did you even get in the castle? You don't belong here!"

 

That hit Kurogane like a slap in the face, and his legs carried him a powerful stride forward before he knew what he was doing. He grabbed for Fai's kimono, intending to shake some sense into the stupid mage --

 

\-- wait a moment -- Fai hadn't been _wearing_ a kimono that morning, he still had on their clothes from the last world; how had he gotten changed so fast?

 

…and for that matter, when had Fai learned to speak perfect Nihongo?

 

"Don't touch me!" Fai snapped, brushing off his grab with a dodge and deflection of his wrist. He stepped between Kurogane and Tomoyo, face set and eyes hard, and blue light began to flicker along his raised hands. "Who are you?"

 

…and both his eyes were _blue._

 

"Kurogane," Tomoyo called gently, and reached out to place her hand on Fai's shoulder -- not Fai? -- in a calming motion. She had gotten her clothes in place, and the startled shock had faded from her expression. "Please, calm down. We are all friends here."

 

Kurogane and… not-Fai made a rude, startled noise almost at the same time, expressing exactly what they thought of _that_ idea.

 

Tomoyo tugged firmly, and reluctantly the not-Fai stepped away, dropping his hands and letting the magical power fade. Tomoyo stepped not-quite between them,  "This is Kurogane, my loyal and beloved retainer, who has been away on a journey for many years now," Tomoyo explained, and his expression changed from stony anger to shock.

 

"Him?" Not-Fai said incredulously, jabbing a finger rudely in Kurogane's direction. " _This_ rude… lout is the man you spoke of so often and so fondly? Out of all the warriors in the castle, _he_ was the one you picked for your favorite?"

 

"Hey!" Kurogane objected. "And get that finger out of my face before you lose it!"

 

Tomoyo reached out her hand and closed it gently around not-Fai's, bringing their joined hands down as she turned to Kurogane with a grave expression. "Kurogane, this is Yuui Flowright… a permanent guest at Shirasagi castle who arrived since you have been gone… and my consort."

 

"What? You're the Tsukuyomi, you don't have a fucking cons -- _Yuui Flowright?"_ Kurogane did a double take, his mind racing down unpleasant pathways he hadn't thought he would ever need again, not since Ceres. Yuui… Fai's real name had been Yuui, the name he'd abandoned when his brother died. This man must be from another world, he _must_ be, but was he another version of Fai… or of Fai's brother?

 

He reached out urgently and grabbed Tomoyo's shoulder, his gaze flicking to not-Fai -- Yuui -- and back to her face. "Princess -- _is_ he Yuui? Or is he Fai?"

 

"What?" The stranger's expression had gone from angry bemusement to a sudden, ashy gray shock. "How -- how do you know that name…?"

 

"Yuui," Tomoyo said, and stroked her hand down his arm in a soothing motion. "Have you forgotten? Kurogane is my retainer who left on a journey… together with his companion from another world, Fai Flowright."

 

Yuui swayed as though the floor had just tilted away under his feet, and in pure automated habit Kurogane reached out to support him. Yuui shied away from his hand, in what looked like unthinking reflex, and staggered a few steps away to sit down on the cushioned dais. Tomoyo joined him.

 

"Shh, it's all right, Yuui," Tomoyo said. Her voice betrayed an anxiety unusual for her, and she brushed her delicate fingers gently over his face. "I promised you, did I not? That he would return someday…"

 

"But I didn't expect it would be _today,_ " Yuui said with a shaken gasp. "What will I say to him? Tomoyo, what will I…"

 

"Princess, what _is_ going on?" Kurogane said, in a firm but increasingly agitated tone. Tomoyo looked up at him and shook her head, obviously unwilling to leave Yuui's side. The part of Kurogane's brain that was not thoroughly caught up in this shocking revelation was still waiting to freak out about this whole _consort_ business -- but that was just going to have to wait.

 

"Yuui left his home world many years ago," Tomoyo said in a soft undertone, as though the man himself could not hear, "for reasons that are not really mine to explain. When he passed through Nihon I told him about you and Fai, and invited him to stay in the hopes that someday he would be able to meet you two again. Please, Kurogane, try to summon some tact. This is not easy for him…"

 

"Not easy for _him?"_ Kurogane exclaimed. His brain was beginning to move forward again, picturing the scene that was going to result from this when Fai woke up, and he didn't completely like how it was going to turn out. "At least _he_ had some warning, which was more than either of us got!"

 

Tomoyo's expression changed, shading into a hint of disapproval. "I am no longer a dreamseer, Kurogane, and you two were passing from one world to the next far too rapidly for us to locate you. You _could_  have _called_ once in a while, you know. Let us know that you were still alive, and when you were planning to return."

 

Kurogane cleared his throat, looking away uncomfortably. "There never seemed to be time," he muttered. Yuui was beginning to get control of himself again, although his breathing still had a touch of hyperventilation.

 

A look of alarm stole over Tomoyo's features. "Fai _is_ still with you, is he not? He must be -- unless --"

 

"Yeah, he's here," Kurogane said quickly, before either of them could get too worked up about this theory. "We had to leave Mokona behind with that gangly shopkeeper back in the Witch's world. The wizard transported us both here, but it wiped him out. He's asleep in one of the guest rooms."

 

"Asleep," Yuui echoed, and seemed to sag a little -- in relief, disappointment or both, Kurogane wasn't sure.

 

"Yeah," Kurogane said, and scowled at this stranger -- a completely unlooked-for inlaw who was going to turn their world upside down. "And I won't have you bothering him. He's exhausted."

 

"Heh," Yuui said, and the ghost of a shadow quirked his lips. "World-walking. With two people, even. Yes, I know."

 

Whatever the hell that meant. Kurogane turned his attention back to Tomoyo instead. "I actually came to see you, and to get food and drink for him," he said. "It was late at night when we left, but I'm guessing it's just past lunchtime here."

 

"Close to it," Tomoyo agreed. "I will have the cooks prepare some food -- for you as well, Kurogane, and you can take it to him when he wakes. In the meantime, let us move somewhere more… appropriate, and talk. You must have many questions for Yuui, and I'm certain he has many for you. I was never able to tell him very much about his… brother."

 

"Yeah," Kurogane agreed quietly. It was beginning to dawn on him just how lonely and painful this stranger's life must have been; exiled from his own world, traveling endlessly without even the solace of true companions to ease the burden.

 

The two of them had not, perhaps, made the best of impressions on each other… but if this really was Fai's brother, then they weren't going to be rid of each other any time soon. Kurogane supposed, however grudgingly, that he had better put some effort into making himself pleasant. "Sure, let's eat," he said, and he managed to keep it from coming out grudging or hostile. "And," he added, turning back to Tomoyo, "while we're at it you can explain this whole _consort_   business to me."

 

On the bright side, Kurogane thought, he was definitely certain that this was real life. His imagination could never have come up with anything _this_   bizarre.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Fai roused groggily from his nap, trying to sort out the signals his body was sending him. He was by no means recovered, he estimated, from the staggering drain of transporting two people across the worlds. But the last few hours of sleep had taken the edge off, and he would benefit more by getting some food and water into him than anything else.

 

He rolled on his side and let out a sigh; a few rays of sun had escaped the clouds and were playing over the opposite wall, but afternoon was rapidly fading into evening. He knew without even looking that Kurogane was there, lurking silently by the doorway like a guard dog. He smiled muzzily at the mental image and sat up, turning his smile towards Kurogane.

 

Kurogane didn't smile back, which was somewhat surprising; over the last few years he'd lightened up to the point where he would actually smile even when he wasn't carving people up. "Good morning," he said.

 

"Good night, more like," Kurogane snorted, and Fai stuck out his tongue at him.

 

"Did you manage to find any food for me after all?" he said, clasping his hands together under his chin and making big eyes.

 

"Yeah, I did. But…" Kurogane hesitated, and Fai saw his jaw working. "Something else has come up, something that you're going to want to deal with as soon as possible."

 

The last traces of sleep fled from Fai's system as he sat up. The tension in Kurogane's body and face said that whatever it was, he thought it was going to upset Fai; that he hadn't bothered to wake Fai up earlier said that it wasn't an immediate danger. What, then? "Is Tomoyo all right?" Fai said, a feeling of trepidation creeping in.

 

"No, no! She's fine. She's -- " Kurogane blew out his breath. "Since I left, Tomoyo got a new boyfriend."

 

"Oh?" Fai relaxed slightly; that was more than enough reason for Kurogane to be so disturbed. He tried for a teasing smile. "Anyone you used to know?"

 

"No," Kurogane said, "in fact, he's someone _you_ used to know… sort of."

 

"What?" Fai felt his smile trying to slip off his face. Kurogane shook his head in frustration.

 

"There's really just no good way of breaking this gently," he said. He stood up and turned towards the door, opening it and beckoning to someone outside in the corridor.

 

The stranger stepped through the door, and Fai's mind momentarily blanked out. He stared across a few meters of air that had suddenly become a yawning gulf, and his own face looked back at him.

 

"This is Tomoyo's new guest, who traveled here from another world," Kurogane said gruffly, his voice remote in Fai's ears. "He says his name is Yuui Flowright."

 

"Hello," Yuui said quietly.

 

 _No!_   screamed a voice in Fai's mind, jolting through him like a scream of agony. _Why now, why now?_   After so many years, after so much pain -- after he'd finally been able to put Fai to rest -- why should the old need, the old wanting rear its head again? The hope that he thought had been dead and buried, frozen and resuscitated and now brought staggering hideously to life again before his eyes… he couldn't do this again, he just couldn't. He couldn't face up to such temptation -- the aching for his other half, the need to wrap himself in his brother's arms and never let go -- to feel whole and unburdened and at peace again for the first time since he was six years old -- only to have it torn away from him again! He couldn't bear that again, he just wouldn't…

 

"Oh, hi," was what he said, a false pleasant smile stretching his face.

 

A long, awkward silence fell over the room.

 

"So," Fai ventured at last, "you are from another world, then? Neither Kuro-chan nor I ever met other versions of ourselves before, although I suppose it makes sense that they would be somewhere out there."

 

"Yes, I suppose so," the other said quietly. "Although from my perspective, it's _you_ who would be an alternate from another world. You came from, what was the name -- Valeria, I believe..?"

 

"Yes," Fai nodded. "And yourself?"

 

"My world was called Albion," Yuui replied. "It's gone now, though."

 

"Never heard of it," Fai said pleasantly. "So I guess you could say that we actually have no relation to each other at all!"

 

The silence that stretched between them had a distinctly chilly tone. Kurogane shifted uncomfortably in his position against the wall, between them but well out of the line of sight.

 

"So…" the stranger huffed an exasperated sounding breath, then scrubbed his hand over his eyes. "Are you really him -- Yuui, I mean? Tomoyo told me that Fai was not the name to which you were born…"

 

"It wasn't," Fai interrupted shortly. "And you? You were born as 'Fai,' is that right?"

 

"Yes," Yuui said in almost a whisper. "It's been -- many years since I answered to that name."

 

"And took the name 'Yuui' when your brother died?" Fai's chest was throbbing and his eyes were stinging, but he forced the question bluntly from his mouth.

 

"Yes," Yuui said.

 

Fai let out a short bark of laughter; there wasn't much real humor to it. "So you couldn't keep your brother alive either, huh?"

 

Yuui flinched as though he'd been struck by an arrow, and Fai felt it too; a searing bolt of scorching ice through his chest. But he didn't back down, and Yuui took a step forward, strands of blond hair wafting around his face. "I never dreamed you could be so heartless," he said, a catch in his voice. "When I learned from the Witch of the Worlds that you still lived, somewhere out there in the universes, I left my home world forever to try to search for you --"

 

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have!" Fai was on his feet, his hands clenched into fists, and his face felt strange; tight and hot and swollen like a balloon. "I never asked you to! Who said I even wanted some stranger like you barging into my life? Why don't you just go back where you came from?"

 

"This is _my_ life now!" Yuui shouted back, his voice ragged. "I lived here for eight years, waiting for _you!_   But I have a home now, I have a life and a lover, and I'm not going to give that up no matter what you do! You're the one who's been gallivanting all over the worlds all this time; why don't _you_ leave?"

 

Fai drew back his hand -- to throw a punch, or perhaps a spell, he didn't even know. But then Kurogane was up and moving, grabbing his wrist to hold it back. "What the hell are you two talking about?" the ninja growled impatiently.

 

"You tell me!" Fai said, turning angrily on Kurogane. "He thinks that just because he's in Tomoyo's good graces that he's got a right --"

 

"No," Kurogane interrupted him. "What the hell are you two _saying_   to each other? What language are you even speaking?"

 

"What?" The question hit Fai like a brick wall, and he stopped for a moment, blinking rapidly. "I'm -- we --"

 

"Because it's not Nihongo," Kurogane continued remorselessly. "And I've heard you speak Valerian before, and it sure as hell isn't Valerian. I would have thought it was complete nonsense sounds, if the two of you weren't screaming at each other!"

 

Fai looked back over at Yuui, and saw understanding dawn on his face in the same moment. Without even realizing it the two of them had slipped back into their own unique language -- the private twin-speak they had used between themselves, in the long stretches of time of their childhoods when no one else would talk to them at all. It wasn't Valerian, and it certainly wasn't Albionese or whatever language they spoke in this other world… but it was the same. The same language they had used to call out to each other in the pit. The same…

 

"Oh, God," Fai said faintly. He felt a blurring rush through his chest and head, and his eyes filled with tears so quickly that he could no longer see straight. "Fayu -- it really is you, isn't it?"

 

All he could see in his tear-fogged vision was a blur of bright yellow with splashes of anxious blue. He stood up and stumbled forward, and his outstretched palms hit a soft warm body; they tumbled over and hit the floor half-on, half-off the futon. "Yuzu," Yuui whispered in his ear, completing the exchange; their own private twin-names, the ones they had never shared with anyone else. "I've missed you so much."

 

He was dimly aware of Kurogane -- a tall, dark, angular shape -- turning away and letting himself quietly out the door; most of his mind, though, was wrapped up in his twin's embrace and would not let go.

 

 

 

 

 

Kurogane slid the door quietly closed and stood there for a moment in the corridor, listening to the quiet murmur of voices beyond. Even if he could have heard them clearly, he suspected, he would not be able to understand them.

 

He became aware of a presence in the shadows behind them; although he did not turn to face her, he shifted around in such a way that she would know he sensed her. "I thought we'd gotten rid of you for good," a soft contralto voice came from the shadows.

 

"You wish," he grunted, and now he did turn to face her. "You were always jealous that I caught more assassins than you."

 

"As if," Souma scoffed, and shifted position slightly so that the light from the hallway spilled across her dark skin. "You always raced ahead and threw yourself into them, leaving the Princess and the Empress unguarded. You might have been good at killing mooks, oh mighty ninja, but as a bodyguard you frankly sucked."

 

Kurogane snorted and looked away, unwilling to face up to the truth in her statement. "She turned out not to need me to protect her after all, did she?" he said, and it came out slightly more bitter than he would have liked. It was a complaint he could never have made to Tomoyo's face, but the resentment still lingered.

 

"Maybe not, but she missed you," Souma said in a softer voice. She stepped forward, and brushed her fingers lightly across his shoulder.  "And she's glad to have you back… and so are we all."

 

Kurogane stood stiffly for a moment, allowing her the liberty. Then he shrugged, letting it all fall away. "I don't suppose you could dig up a good drink around this place," he grumbled. "I could really use it."

 

Souma laughed. "I bet you could!" she said. "Come on, we'll head down to the new canteen. One of the ballrooms got trashed in the big storms a few years ago, and rather than pretty it up again they just converted it for use by us mooks."

 

So apparently there had been _some_ changes while he was gone. Somehow, Kurogane found that heartening. He followed her through the old familiar hallways of the castle with a lighter step.

 

They got a table to themselves -- Kurogane's glower was sufficient to warn off all comers -- and while Souma helped herself to some food, Kurogane had eaten a supremely awkward meal with Yuui and Tomoyo earlier and was not hungry.  Instead, he ordered a massive quantity of sake and devoted himself grimly to putting it away as efficiently as possible. It took a lot of alcohol to affect him, but he meant to get as far as his natural tolerance would allow him into blissful fuzzy-mindedness.

 

"Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing out here anyway?" Souma asked between chomps and slurps of her own food and drink.

 

Kurogane sighed at his sake cup, watching the reflection of light off the surface of the liquid before draining it. "I figured they needed some time alone," he grumbled. "Not like I won't have plenty of time to see him later… both of them."

 

"Yeah," Souma agreed. "Now that Princess Tomoyo has shacked up with His Awkwardness, he's become a pretty permanent fixture around here."

 

"Hmph," Kurogane said with a scowl, and poured himself more alcohol. "So what's up with this _consort_   thing, anyway?" he said, for the fifth time already today. He never had gotten an explanation that satisfied him. "Aren't they married?"

 

"Ehh… it's complicated," Souma said in a neutral tone. "Sort of… yes and no."

 

"Engaged?" Kurogane prompted. Then a horrible thought occurred. "Don't tell me they were waiting for us to get back to throw a big party." He could just see Tomoyo laying plans in wait for fancy wedding clothes for _all_ of them.

 

Souma chortled. "You'd hate that, wouldn't you?" she said, then sighed. "But no. There hasn't been a wedding, and probably isn't going to be, any more than there will be for me and Kendappa… or for you and your boyfriend in the furisode."

 

"Hey! I didn't pick out his clothes," Kurogane objected. "Take it up with Tomoyo. I don't think he even had any idea what he was wearing."

 

Souma ignored the challenge. "It's gotten… political," she said. "What it all boils down to is, since he's an outsider and a gaijin to boot, he has no official status of his own in the court. Some people feel that it would be demeaning for the Princess to submit herself to an outsider. Others don't like that he has as much power as he does -- he's a powerful magician in his own right, you know -- and don't want to see him get above his station. Either way, they've decided that they don't need a ceremony to bind them together… and that it's better just to let things be."

 

"Hmph." Kurogane glared at the wall, mentally willing his scowl to travel to these moronic 'some people' who thought their stupid, petty opinions and rivalries were more important than Tomoyo's happiness. And set them on fire. Well, at least the problem wasn't Yuui himself getting cold feet -- remembering his own long and painful journey with Fai, it wouldn't have surprised him at all if the flighty blond resisted commitment.

 

"Why the disapproval, Kurogane?" Souma said in an arch tone. "Don't tell me you'd actually _approve_   of Blondie's affair with the princess?"

 

Her challenge went unanswered for a couple of heartbeats, and Souma's eyebrows lifted almost to her hairline as a wide grin split her face. "You _do,_   don't you?" she crowed. "I'd never thought I'd see the day!"

 

"So what of it?" Kurogane snapped. "It's not like I'm in a position to tell her who she can and can't have in her life. If she wants to take a lover that's her right, and no business of mine. And besides…" he hesitated, staring meditatively into his sake cup again. "If he's even half the man his… brother is, then there's no one in all the universes more deserving of her love."

 

Souma's laughter died down. "Hmm, I guess you'd know," she said in a quieter voice.

 

For a moment they sat silently together, each lost in their own thoughts as they downed alcohol together.

 

"Besides," Souma said after a while, watching Kurogane's face, "people are getting pretty damn impatient for the royals to put out an heir already. I'm just as glad to have the pressure of Kendappa, but if he can get her to pump out a baby or two, then nobody at court will care _what_ world he came from."

 

Kurogane's resulting spittake was truly impressive; it reached a whole new record on the markers on the wall.

 

 

 

The last of the daylight had faded hours ago. At some point soft-footed servants had moved through the hallways lighting lanterns that glowed through the paper framed walls, but they had not moved away from each other. Yuzu was… Fai was… Yuui didn't know what to call him, really.  This was his brother _Yuui,_ but the others -- Kurogane and Tomoyo and everyone else -- called him Fai, and after so many years it was hard to stop thinking of himself as Yuui. It almost didn't matter, though, since in his head Yuui only thought of his brother as _him._

 

The two of them were curled on their sides facing each other, with their hands loosely clasped between them. They had been talking for hours in hushed whispers, shifting in and out of their own private language; but his twin was quiet now, his hands pressing hard. Waiting for him to speak. Fai had told him everything; about the the tower and the pit, about the magician and the curses and the choice. Now it was his turn to speak.

 

"It was… a bad time for our country," he said at last, breaking the silence in a near-whisper. "Ever since the two of us were born there had been ill luck… failing harvests, terrible storms, earthquakes. Things just kept getting worse and worse… our parents… the king and queen and the court blamed _us,_   but the peasants just blamed us all.

 

"There was a riot… we were too young to understand, really, but a crowd of people came up from the village with torches and rocks and -- and shovels. The guards couldn't hold them back, the king and queen fled to safety from a secret passage -- but -- I never knew if it was on purpose or just a mistake in the confusion, but… they didn't take us with them."

 

His brother took a breath, catching in his lungs as his hands tightened on Yuui's almost painfully. Yuui closed his eyes and swallowed before he could speak again.

 

"We were hiding in one of the antechambers… there was a big wooden wardrobe there that we liked to play in. It was full of coats and shoes and piles of gowns… it had a funny smell, musty, like mothballs. The two of us huddled in there behind the stacks of blankets and shoes and tried not to make a sound.

 

"They were in the room, banging and shouting and punching holes in the paneling… I think they may have been trying to strip off the gold leaf from the borders. Their voices were so coarse and… and loud, saying such awful things and I was so scared, and I just… made a noise."

 

"And he…" his brother whispered. Yuui nodded a little against the pillow, his eyes still shut.

 

"He grabbed me and threw himself on top of me… I couldn't breathe, let alone make any noise. But they had heard me -- they knew we were there now. And… and he pulled one of the heavy blankets on top of me, to cover me, and he stood up… just as they threw open the door to the wardrobe and saw him, and pulled him out."

 

He had to stop there, and pressed his face against a warm shoulder as he shook. His brother didn't press him to go on and he was grateful for that, not to have to relive his brother's death. Not that he had seen anything, of course, hidden underneath the stifling layers of cloth with tears pouring down his face… but he had heard everything. And he'd seen what was left over afterwards.

 

"I'm so sorry," his twin murmured quietly.

 

"No! I'm the one who's sorry," he said, and he sobbed. "I should have been quiet! I shouldn't have made noise! I should have been the one to go out there, not him… I should have been the one…"

 

"It wasn't your fault," Fai said, and Yuui clung to him desperately, aching to hear that reassurance even as he shook his head in violent denial.

 

"It was! It was my bad luck, I've always brought bad luck… it was because of me that they got so mad, it was because of me that they left us behind…" His stomach hurt as though he were being stabbed, and he curled into a tight ball, only vaguely feeling his twin's arms around him. "They killed him  just a few feet away and I didn't do anything! I should have saved him… I should have gone in his place… I should have been the one to die…" 

 

"No!" Fai shouted; his hands clutched spastically at Yuui's shoulders hard enough that his nails left scratches even through his clothes. "You're wrong. You're _wrong!"_

 

The pain registered dully through Yuui's well-practiced haze of guilt and recrimination, and he managed to raise his head out of his miserable huddle far enough to meet his twin's gaze.

 

"It was _not_ your fault," Fai told him in a low, intense tone, his eyes boring into Yuui's with a fierce conviction. "And he -- and your brother wanted you to live."

 

Such simple words. It took a moment for Yuui to absorb them, turn them over in his mind. _Your brother wanted you to live._

 

Fai hadn't said _would have wanted,_ or _probably wanted._ He spoke plain facts, because of all the people in all the universes, he knew just what it was that Yuui Flowright of Albion had been thinking in his last moments.

 

 _Your brother wanted you to live._

 

"I know," he said at last, in tones of quiet confession. "And I know that I wanted _him_ to live, too -- if I had been given a choice, I would have died to save him."

 

Before Fai could respond to that he raised his hand to press against Fai's cheek, turning him to meet Yuui's gaze steadily. "Just like _he_ chose to save _you_."

 

Fai made an inarticulate noise, and hugged Yuui so hard he couldn't breathe. Yuui bore it, as he had borne Fai's tears and confession earlier. It was a necessary healing, for both of them.

 

"I don't want to choose any more," Fai said, and his voice was choked and unsteady. "We don't _have_ to choose any more. We can both live here -- together."

 

"Yes," Yuui agreed softly. "That's all I ever wanted."

 

They lay together as they once had as children; each curled around each other, their soft breaths synchronizing across the silence, and gradually succumbed to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idioglossia -- or "twin speak" -- is a real phenomenon, although experts are divided as to whether it can be considered a real separate language or not. Either way, idioglossia tends to be most advanced and developed in instances where twins are neglected as children and left to speak exclusively to each other, which Fai and Yuui definitely were.   
> See also: http://multiples.about.com/od/twintoddlers/a/twintalk.htm Private nick-names are also a common feature of this kind of speech.


	3. Chapter 3

They did eventually get their own room - actually a set of rooms, deep in the palace complex and not too far from the royal chambers. There was a bedroom, a larger sitting room connected to the main hallway, and a third "receiving room" Kurogane had never seen the point of; but at least the main room had a nice view of the western side of the palace grounds.

It started out as a nice relaxing evening - him reading aloud to Fai, Fai doing something ridiculous with ribbons - when the sliding door slammed back and a loud exuberant voice filled their private space. "Hey, slackers! Whatcha doing? I brought booze!"

"Did you ever consider knocking?" Kurogane growled, peeling his hand off his weapon and glaring at her. Souma was always a pain and cheerful about it, but she seemed to be in an extraordinarily good mood tonight - and, indeed, the promised bottle of sake was in her hand.

"I've got news!" she cried out as she swept inside, kicking one of the cushions aside. Following her, somewhat surprisingly, was a sheepish-looking Yuui. "Well, actually I don't, it's this guy's news. But I wanted to be here for the announcement!"

"What announcement?" Fai said, looking at his twin in surprise.

Yuui opened his mouth, then closed it with an 'ow' when Souma jabbed him in the ribs. "Drinks first," she said. "He's got the cups. Come on, clear some space at your table, don't you have any manners?"

"These are  _our rooms,_ " Kurogane objected, although he was already on his feet and pushing things off the table. It was all Fai's stuff anyway; if he didn't want it on the floor, he should pick up after himself in the first place.

"Okay, a round for everyone, and then the news," Souma said as they all sat around the table - foursquare, except that as always, Yuui and Fai sat the same side next to each other; it was something they hardly even seemed to think about.

Souma was positively bubbling over with glee, and so Kurogane was already wary; he watched her drink first, just to make sure it wasn't drugged. She quickly swigged her own cup dry, then put it down and looked right at him as she grinned. "Okay, so it's official - Princess Tomoyo is pregnant!"

Kurogane paused for a moment, his mouth full of sake; then he quite deliberately swallowed it, set the cup down, and coughed once. Souma looked vastly disappointed.

"Nice try," he snarled at her.

"Aw, come on," she said. "I was hoping for you to spit it across the room again."

Fai let out a little squeal of joy and wrapped his arms around Yuui's; his twin's face lit up with a gentle smile as he hugged back. "It's true," he said. "The doctor confirmed it - she's about two months along."

"It looks like this one's going to stick around!" Souma said delightedly. "You're going to be an uncle! Hell, I'm going to be an aunt!"

"Hmph," Kurogane said, then turned to Yuui. "Congratulations," he said. "And I'll say it again when I see Tomoyo."

"She's with Kendappa right now," Yuui said. "I believe they're discussing the best time to make the announcement at court."

"Besides," Souma said, "it wouldn't be fair to drink when she couldn't."

"She doesn't drink anyway!" Kurogane said.

"I'm so happy for you!" Fai exclaimed. "I know you guys have been trying for a while -"

"Which is why it wasn't all THAT much of a surprise," Kurogane added to Souma, who smirked. "I do know how things work, you know."

" - but when I saw her yesterday, she looked about the same," Fai finished. "She hasn't put on a lot of weight yet, has she?"

"It's still early," Yuui reminded him. "It'll be a few more months before the - the baby really starts to show." He blushed at his own stutter, but he couldn't seem to keep the brilliant smile off his face as he said it.

"You're going to have to learn to duck when she throws things at you," Fai teased him. "And you'll have to get up at all hours of the night to get all sorts of strange foods for her when she wants them!"

Everyone looked at him. "Where are you getting that idea?" Souma asked him with some amusement.

"Well, isn't that what pregnant ladies do?" Fai defended himself. "There's always the mood swings, and the food cravings, and she'll be sick in the morning all the time too!"

"How would you know?" Kurogane demanded. "When have you ever been around a pregnant woman before?"

"I have!" Fai protested. "-Probably."

" _Probably?"_  Yuui parroted back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, we've visited a  _lot_  of worlds and met a  _lot_ of people, including women," Fai said, his face flushing slightly. "Statistically, I'm sure at least some of them were pregnant!"

Kurogane snorted and shook his head, reaching across the table to pour himself another drink. Souma looked torn between amusement and annoyance. "That doesn't count," she protested laughingly. "That hardly means you can say anything about how all women act when pregnant. Every woman reacts a little differently, you know."

"Oh! I know! The innkeeper in that one world, the one with the flower garlands," Fai said triumphantly. "She was always yelling at someone for no reason, or bursting into tears over the slightest thing. She was pregnant!"

"No she wasn't," Kurogane said, empting the last of the bottle into his cup - one bottle didn't really go very far among four people. "She was just fat."

"Yes she was!" Fai shot back. "She had those special dresses and everything."

"Trust me, she wasn't pregnant."

"How can you be sure?" Fai demanded.

"Because  _she_  was a  _he,"_  Kurogane said, shooting his lover a look of amusement. "Seriously, how did you not pick up on this? That entire bar was full of men dressed as women."

Souma burst into laughter at Fai's expression. "And you didn't even notice?" she whooped out. "Fai, you really suck at being gay!"

Fai joined her in laughter, but Kurogane couldn't help but notice Yuui shift uncomfortably. Although Yuui had never expressed any reservations about Fai's choice in lovers - at least not around Kurogane, and not around Fai either if he had any sense - Kurogane had always gotten the impression that he wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of Fai's sexuality.

Either Fai had noticed his twin's change in expression, or he had just picked it up through that bizarre near-telepathic communication they had, because his face shifted to an expression of mock disdain. "I'll have you know I'm not gay," he said, "I'm an opportunistic bisexual~!"

He leered comically over the table at Souma, who just laughed harder. "Sorry to say it, big boy, but I'm  _not,"_ she chortled. "I'm more than happy with what I've got!"

"Oh, you're just jealous," Fai pouted. "You know my boyfriend could beat up your girlfriend any day!"

"Ooh, is that a  _challenge?"_ Souma said with a wicked grin. "Should I go and tell Kendappa that Kurogane here is just looking for an opportunity to beat up on Her Divine Majesty?"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Kurogane exclaimed. This conversation was getting way too uncomfortable, and he decided abruptly that he was not nearly drunk enough for it. "Souma, what the hell were you thinking, bringing only one bottle?"

"It's not my fault you all drink like fish," Souma protested. "Anyway, we could send someone for more."

"I've got a better idea. Why don't we all go down to the canteen?" Yuui said. "I'm sure the news has spread to the rest of the palace warriors already, so we can all celebrate with them."

"Sounds great, as long as they understand that the proud father -" Souma aimed a slap on Yuui's back that sent him staggering off balance as he stood up from the table " - and his party of course - get first dibs on all the booze!"

"Yay, it's a party!" Fai cheered, as they all filed out the door. "Sake, sake!"

Kurogane sighed and rubbed his head, but got up to follow. He remembered the  _last_  time Fai had gotten drunk at a party, and at least one person there would need to be sensible.

* * *

"So," Kendappa said quietly, "you're certain, then?"

Tomoyo shrugged a little, and raised one hand to rub at her eyes. The light in Kendappa's private receiving chamber was low, the walls cloaked in shadow. Elsewhere in the palace she could hear the muffled sound of cheers, but up here, away from everyone, it was quiet.

"Certain?" she said with a certain amount of bitterness. "How can I be certain? I no longer have my powers as a dreamseer, you know; I can no longer be certain of any future."

Kendappa sighed. "But the auguries are clear," she said. It was not so much a question as a statement.

"As clear as they ever are," Tomoyo whispered. Her eyes were tired, and had begun to sting a bit. She got tired so easily the past few weeks, although there was a perfectly acceptable biological reason for that now. "It's not absolutely decided… but it's a very strong chance."

"Have you told Yuui?" Kendappa said, her voice unusually gentle. "He is the father, after all."

Tomoyo shook her head. "It would only upset him," she said. "There's no need for him to know. He would worry and be afraid."

"So instead you're going to worry and be afraid all by yourself?" Kendappa said sharply. "This is his fault in the first place -"

"Half," Tomoyo corrected her. "And this is not a burden that would be diminished by being shared."

"-half his fault in the first place!" Kendappa glared. "You should at least have someone you can talk to!"

"I do," Tomoyo said calmly. "I have you."

Kendappa sat back with an exasperated sigh. It wasn't often that gentle Tomoyo showed the stubborn streak that both sisters shared, but when she did, it was like running into a stone wall. "All right," she said. "I will make certain that the best doctors in the realm are on hand when the time comes. If you gain any more glimpses of the future, be certain to tell me immediately. I want your promise that you will!"

"I will," Tomoyo said, and she blinked hard, her purple eyes glittering. "Kendappa, I - I don't know what I should do if - "

Unseen by any outsiders, the Empress crossed the room in two strides and was at her sister's side, wrapped her arms around Tomoyo's slender shoulders and embracing her sister as she cried silently.

"It'll be all right," she murmured. "We'll be all right."

In the floors below, the celebration continued.

* * *

He wasn't drunk. It took a truly prodigious amount of alcohol to get him to any stage past 'buzzed,' and considering that he'd been competing all night with his big lunk of a partner - who could absorb even more booze than he could without noticeable wobble - well, Shirasagi's sake just wasn't strong enough to carry both of them over the threshold. So they weren't drunk. Just a little… happy.

Sure, he was singing under his breath as they both staggered back from the canteen to their rooms, despite Kurogane's periodic growls to shut up. But so what? He did that even when he was sober, just because it pissed Kurogane off and made Yuui laugh. The only difference was that right now he couldn't really be bothered to put words to the tune, and surely Kurogane would consider that an improvement?

Souma and Yuui had both gone back to their own lovers, and it was quality time now for Kurogane and Fai. They fell over the doorway into their rooms - literally fell, in Kurogane's case, since the lamps weren't lit and  _someone_  had dumped a bunch of stuff from the table onto the floor earlier. Kurogane hissed and swore, Fai laughed at him, and with much fumbling and groping they managed to make their way to the bedroom where their futon was laid out.

In the moonlight spilling in through the window they undressed for bed with a good deal of slow, languorous touching, and the occasional press of mouth on skin. Truth be told neither of them were immediately interested in sex; they weren't  _drunk_ but they were  _mellow,_  dizzy and tired and only in the mood to curl up together and sleep.

Fai settled into the circle of Kurogane's arms with a happy sigh, reveling in the contrast between the cool moon-splashed air and the heat of his lover's skin. But now that he was still and quiet, all the thoughts that had been sloshing around in his head for the last few hours finally got a chance to settle and drain; and what was left by the falling tide were some questions he couldn't put off asking any longer. "Ne, Kuro-chan," he said, voice low in the darkness.

"Hmm," Kurogane grunted; halfway to sleep, Fai judged him.

Fai rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "Did you ever want kids of your own?"

There was a long pause, just long enough for Fai to wonder if Kurogane had gone to sleep. But then the bigger man rolled up on his side, his body a dark bulky cliff in the shadows, and he felt the heat of Kurogane's eyes on him. "What brought this on?" he rumbled.

"What do you think?" Fai pulled a face. "With Tomoyo… you know, it just sort of brought it home that neither you nor I will ever be having kids of our own. I just… it was not something I ever thought about for myself, but… you?"

"Hn," Kurogane said, and shifted again as he turned away. The pale moonlight glinted over the bare skin of his chest, flashed dimly on the metal planes of his arm, and Fai was left breathless by the sudden feeling of how much he loved this man.

"Yeah, sometimes," Kurogane's reply came low out of the darkness, and Fai's breath caught, his heart thumping painfully in his chest.

He didn't say anything, but Kurogane was pressed so close to him, he couldn't have missed the sudden sharp intake of breath. "Don't get me wrong, idiot," Kurogane chastised him. "I don't want anyone else but you. I never have. I'm not going to leave you, not now or ever, not for any reason."

Fai managed a little smile, but Kurogane couldn't see it in the darkness. "I know," he whispered.

"I'm just telling you the truth," Kurogane continued. "I always expected that I would have kids of my own - someday. It was a part of growing up as the heir of Suwa, like my father before me, like his father before him. Now Suwa is gone, and - I'm the only one of my family left, and… it's hard to think, sometimes, that when I'm gone there will be nothing left of my family in this world, nothing left of Suwa at all."

Fai stared up at the ceiling, afraid to blink, his eyes stinging with sudden tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered. No matter how much he loved Kurogane, that was something he could never ever give him; a family, a future.

"Don't be," Kurogane said, and the 'idiot' was plain in his voice. He leaned down, and Fai felt a soft warmth on the side of his neck as Kurogane kissed slowly down his collarbone.

"That all belongs to another life," Kurogane said lowly, "one that was burnt up years ago. It's not your fault. I'm happy with the life I have now - I wouldn't want to wish it away for anything else.

"Besides," he added after a few moments. "I'd never be half the parent my father was, so it's probably just as well either way."

Fai smiled for real, then, tears running from the corners of his eyes, happiness and sorrow and love and regret almost crushing his chest. "That's not true," he said teasingly. "Kuro would have made an awesome daddy. You'd be teaching the kid how to slay bugs and kill mice with a glare before he could walk."

Kurogane snorted, and there was a small earthquake as he thumped back onto the futon. "As if," he said.

The conversation stilled then, and they just lay there, snuggled in a companionable silence. "Besides," Kurogane said after a while, his voice slower and drowsy with sleep. "Your brother's your  _twin_ , you know; so his kid is almost going to be like your kid too."

Fai blinked, suddenly wide awake and stunned with the force of the revelation. "Oh, that's a terrifying thought," he said in a strangled voice. It was true what he'd said to Kurogane, that he'd never considered children of his own; for too long he'd never dreamed to have a future, for too long he considered himself unworthy of having a life, let alone bringing new life into the world.

"It'll be fine," Kurogane said, amusement thick in his tone. " 'S half Tomoyo's, too. She'll even it out."

"You know," Fai said after some thought, "There are some magical spells - I'd have to research and refine them, but it  _is_  theoretically possible for the caster to turn themselves into a woman for long periods at a time. If you wanted, we  _could -"_

 _"What?"_ Kurogane roused out of near-slumber, horror in his voice.

" - or if you don't like that idea, it's a bit much I agree, just a partial transformation might be -"

"Gods, no!" Kurogane slammed his pillow down on Fai's face, smothering all further speculation. "Go to sleep already!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Li Yelan is a cameo from the Card Captor Sakura universe; in that universe she is Li Syaoran's mother, a very powerful mage and all-around very intimidating lady.

The birth of his next sovereign, Kurogane reminded himself, ought to be a  _good_ thing, a  _joyous_  occasion. So should the birth of his best friend's child, and the child of his lover's brother - essentially his own nephew. And indeed, for the first few hours it had seemed so. For the first day, even. Kurogane had cheered and pounded on tables and toasted the new heir's health with all the rest of the palace ninja.

But the sun was setting on the second  _full day_  of Princess Tomoyo's labor, and all the celebration of the palace had died down some time before, to be replaced by an anticipatory tension. Waiting, somewhere between riotous joy and heartstopping dread, for it to be over.

It would have been better if he could  _do_  something. Enemies to fight, walls to knock down, a hundred field latrines to dig, anything at all. Unfortunately, there wasn't. He'd twigged very early on that the servingwomen's water-boiling and linen-washing assignments were only busywork meant to keep him out of the way, not actually contributing to the birthing process at all, and left them in disgust. Since no enemy armies were consenting to attack Nihon right now, that left only patrolling the walls to work off his energy; which would have been fine if every other ninja in Shirasagi didn't have the same idea. He was tired of tripping over other people in every conceivable approach to Tomoyo's wing of the palace.

At last the servants - acting with unaccustomed audacity, he thought, considering his reputation - had pushed him into this tiny waiting chamber and told him that he could either stay here and wait for news, or go to some other part of the castle entirely. And so he waited. And paced. And did katas, at least until he tore a hole in the shoji screen. And waited some more.

"Why can't I be in there?" he demanded to the air, not really expecting an answer any more than the last five times he'd asked. "I could stay out of the way, and then at least I'd know what was going on."

His listeners - currently an audience of one - were unimpressed. "They're not letting letting any men near the birthing chamber, Kurogane-san," Yuui replied, and even after all this time hearing that name in that voice gave Kurogane a little twinge. Yuui gave a little half-smile, half-grimace. "If they aren't letting me in, they certainly aren't going to let you in."

"They'd better let me in, I have a sword," Kurogane said half-heartedly, and Yuui snorted.

"With Souma in there? Not likely," he said. "This is all up to Tomoyo now. Ranting and complaining about it isn't going to make it happen any faster, so just calm down."

With great difficulty, Kurogane refrained from his automatic, angry retort. It was absurd how Yuui could appear so calm, when Kurogane knew he must be burning up inside with worry and anticipation.

Yuui leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. There were dark circles of sleeplessness under his eyes, and Kurogane didn't blame him; Fai was actually asleep, curled up against Yuui's side with his cheek puffed out against Yuui's leg. The debris of cups, dishes and paper wrappers were scattered around the room, although none of them had had much appetite.

Tomoyo had gone into labor just before midnight, two days ago now; all throughout the night it had continued, intensifying throughout the next morning and evening. By then all three of the men were wondering what was taking so long, but the smiling womenservants assured them that this was normal for a first-time mother. Well, another night had gone and another day was almost gone; surely  _this_  wasn't normal! But it had become increasingly clear that nobody had the time or the patience to spare for antsy menfolk underfoot right now. This was women's business, and Yuui was right, there was absolutely nothing he could do to make it go faster.

"This  _can't_  be normal," he said aloud. "Something must be wrong. Why won't they tell us anything?"

Yuui frowned, his brows pinching in above his still-closed eyes, and Kurogane briefly regretted voicing his feelings.

"S'alright," Fai muttered without changing his position. His hand groped across the floor for a moment before swinging up to pat Yuui's knee reassuringly. "Scary doctor lady will take care of her."

That startled a snort of laughter out of Kurogane; it was an apt description of Li Yelan. Li-sensei had arrived at the crack of dawn after Tomoyo's labor had started, a tall imposing woman with severely beautiful features in a white  _hanfu_ tied with a royal blue sash. She'd walked with such imposing authority that even Kurogane felt the urge to bow humbly in her presence, and had headed right for the birthing chamber and not emerged since. One of the servants had explained that she was a famous physician of women and birthing, and that Amaterasu had arranged for her stay in the capital as Tomoyo's time drew near.

"Even if I were there, I wouldn't be able to do much," Yuui admitted heavily. "I never could get the hang of healing magic."

"She'll be fine," Fai repeated in a slightly clearer voice. He lifted his head from his sleeping position, marked with red lines from the pressure against the fabric; his blue eyes were reddened, but his expression was calm and determined. "Everyone is still calm, and they wouldn't be if something were really wrong. No matter how long it's taking, nobody's panicking. Well, except for Kuro-daddy, that is," he said, turning to address his lover with a cheeky grin. "You'd almost think it was HIS baby being born!"

Kurogane was about to reply, when a sudden uptick in the voices coming faintly through the corridors and walls caught his attention. He came bolt upright, staring at the door as though he could drill through it to see what's going on.

"What is it?"

"Not sure," Kurogane grunted. He didn't hear a baby's cry, and he was fairly sure he would have heard that - it was pretty distinctive. But if not that, then what?

He made up his mind. "I'm going out there," he announced, and strode towards the door.

"Kuro-sama," Fai called from behind him, and Yuui said "Kurogane, you can't just-"

He slid the door open with more force than strictly necessary, only to find himself suddenly face-to-face with a startled-looking servant.

"Lord Kurogane!" she gasped, taking a quick step back. "I - pardon me, I was just coming to get Flowright-sama…"

"What's happening?" he demanded. "Is something wrong?"

"Wrong? No, of course not," she said, shaking her head. "But he should come soon. It's almost time."

"It's been 'almost time' for the last ten hours!" Kurogane objected, although he felt a surge of hopeful anticipation all the same. "If he's going, I'm going."

The servant looked like she might argue, especially when Fai appeared in the doorway clinging to his brother so tightly that they might have been one two-headed beast, and gave her a bright smile - but she thought better of it. "Certainly, my lords. Please come along."

They were led through the hallways towards the birthing chamber, and all three of them heard the piercing baby's cry. Kurogane's heart lifted in his chest, but it didn't fully dispel the nervousness; the baby was all right, but what about Tomoyo?

The woman pulled them to a halt just outside a closed door. Kurogane could just pick up hints of the smell from the room beyond; the bitter bite of medicines, the reek of sweat from too many bodies in a hot, enclosed space, and the very faint tang of blood. However, the servant seemed unconcerned as she slid the door open a tiny crack, leaned in, and spoke softly to someone within.

"Wait a moment, please," she told them, and Kurogane resisted the urge to bite her head off. What else had they been DOING for the last two days?

Before he lost the fraying grasp on his temper, however, another maid appeared at the door. This one was disheveled but beaming, and she carried in her arms a cloth-swaddled bundle. "Fluorite-sama! Say hello to your firstborn," she chirped, entirely too cheery for how tired she looked. "It's a girl!"

Yuui looked completely stunned, and Fai had to take hold of his wrists and guide his arms into position for the smiling maid to place the infant in his grasp. His arms automatically tightened as they took the weight, and Yuui gasped as he looked down into the face of the infant child. "It's a girl?" he whispered.

"A girl," Kurogane echoed, the only outward sign of his wild inward elation. Yuui and Fai might not understand; they were foreigners, after all, and as much as they loved and respected Tomoyo and Kendappa, they hadn't been born here. They couldn't understand - as Kurogane understood - what an incredible blessing it was, the birth of the baby girl who would someday be the next Amaterasu. The living incarnation of the Sun Goddess, the very heart of the realm.

Yuui gazed in wonder at his daughter's face, his eyes roaming over her features. "Her eyes are brown," he breathed, and a certain tension went out of him as he locked gazes with Fai.

Fai nodded solemnly. "Probably just as well," he murmured.

Yuui inhaled deeply, tearing his eyes away from the infant's face. "She's beautiful," he said. "Just like her mother. But - Tomoyo? What about the Princess? Is she all right? Can I see her?"

"She's fine," the servant reassured him firmly. "No, you can't see her yet - they're not quite done in there. But she'll be just fine after she's rested a bit. Li-Sensei is a miracle worker. The worst is over now."

Yuui blinked rapidly, his eyes filling with tears, and he leaned towards his twin as Fai reached out to hug him fiercely.

"Hey," Kurogane objected, watching the progress of the bundle with hawk eyes. "If you're going to do that, let  _me_ hold her."

The maidservant stared dubiously as Yuui laughed shakily and handed her over. "Excuse me, my lord, but do you know anything about babies?" she said suspiciously.

"Course I do," Kurogane said, taking the bundle like a load of the most exquisitely fragile porcelain. "Hold up the head like this, right?"

Kurogane shifted the baby in his arms - she was so tiny, she almost fit onto the palms of his hands. He held his breath despite himself as he bent his head to look at her. She was so  _small,_ her eyes and nose and chin and wispy black hair over the crown of her head, with tiny little pink hands clenched into fists. "Hard to believe that Souma or Kendappa used to look like this."

Yuui laughed. "You did too, you know! All babies pretty much look the same at this age."

"Don't scowl like that, Kuro-baby, you'll traumatize her," Fai chided.

"She'd better get used to it," Kurogane grunted. "I'm her bodyguard, she'll be seeing a lot of me."

"You are?" Yuui said doubtfully. "Who decided that?"

"Who else would it be, dumbass?" Kurogane demanded. "I'm the best they've got."

"Kuro-mouth! Don't swear in front of the baby," Fai admonished. "There will be plenty of time to decide that later."

The two of them had their arms wrapped around each other, Fai laughing and Yuui smiling, his eyes sparkling. Kurogane was so engrossed in the tiny princess in his arms, already evolving elaborate forms of revenge to warn off any enemies who might try to harm her, that he almost didn't notice when the maidservant disappeared and came back to the door.

She looked at the three of them, Fai and Yuui clinging to each other, Kurogane holding the baby, and then sighed in exasperation. "Pardon me, Lord Flowright," she said. "Don't you want to hold your  _other_  daughter?"

The laughter and banter halted abruptly as all three of them turned towards her. "Other daughter?" Yuui repeated blankly.

"Yes, your secondborn," the maid smiled as she jiggled the blanket-wrapped bundle. "Also a girl, my lord! It's a great blessing - twin princesses for Nihon to celebrate today!"

Fai made a funny little sound, and let go of his brother to sit down abruptly on the floor. Yuui swayed without his support, his face gone a greenish-white color as the meaning sank in. "That can't be," he croaked.

"I assure you it most certainly is!" the maid replied tartly. She folded back the corner of the blanket and held the second baby a little higher, revealing a second tiny face - identical to the first in all ways except one. "See, my lord? She even has your eyes."

Yuui didn't respond, except to slowly sink to the floor beside his brother. Without looking their hands sought each other, and the maid looked increasingly confused as both of them sat in silence. "My lords?" she said hesitantly.

"Give her here," Kurogane said abruptly. "Then go back inside and see if Tomoyo needs anything. I'll take care of them."

Which set of twins he was referring to, even he wasn't sure; but whichever it was, he meant to take care of them.

* * *

Kendappa sank back on the duvet in her private chamber with a tired sigh, closing her eyes as her personal maid went busily about the task of undressing her hair for bed. It had been a very long couple of days, even if she wasn't the one who had just given birth to twins. Something alerted her senses, however, and she jerked her head up - to the displeased exclamation of her servant - as someone crossed the border into her private realm without asking permission first.

Anger turned to a kind of disgusted resignation, though, when she saw her visitor's blond hair. Kurogane's pet wizard would have no reason to visit her in the middle of the night, so she knew which one this was. "Oh, it's you," Kendappa said. "I suppose I should have expected it."

"You don't sound happy to see me," Yuui said.

"Yes, well." Kendappa turned back to the mirror and grimaced, as the servant expertly pulled the hairpins loose from her hair and brushed it out. "I did tell my guards to keep everybody out. I'm tired and I intended to get some real sleep for the first time in three days."

"I insisted," Yuui said. "This isn't state business, after all. It's family."

Something in his voice made Kendappa turn and look at him closer. "Have you been drinking?" she asked suspiciously.

"Oh, yes," he said. "With the safe delivery of the new heirs, the whole castle is practically swimming in alcohol right now. I could hardly have escaped the toasts if I tried. But if you're asking, am I  _drunk,_ then I'd remind you just how much alcohol it takes to put me out of commission."

He was smiling slightly, but there was a look in his blue eyes that reminded her that when he chose to be - which was rare, since he usually tried to hard to portray that inoffensive aura of harmlessness - Yuui Flowright was one of the more dangerous people in her country.

So was she, of course. With a touch, she stopped the brush moving through her hair, and signaled the maid to withdraw. Once it was just the two of them alone in her chambers, she turned to her sister's consort. "All right, Yuui," she said. "What's this about?"

"You knew," Yuui said in a low, dangerous voice. "That she was carrying twins. And you didn't tell me.  _She_ didn't tell me."

"What makes you think I knew?" Kendappa tried for guile. "In case you had forgotten, my sister relinquished her dreamseer powers. She can no longer see the future accurately."

"Don't play dumb with me," Yuui said, and Kendappa hastily revised her estimate of just how angry he was. "Dreamseer or no, she's still your country's most powerful oracle. There was no way she could  _not_ have known. And you hid it from me - both of you!"

Kendappa turned away from him with a little shrug. She didn't feel like pushing an obviously failed strategy. "Yes, Yuui, you are correct. My sister knew that she was bearing twins; she told me, but no one else. It was her wish that it be kept a secret, and so I kept it. The only other ones who knew were the doctor, Li Yelan, and Tomoyo's personal maid."

"And what about me? Don't you think I had a right to know?" Yuui demanded angrily. "I'm her lover - the father of those children!"

"Frankly?" Kendappa stood up, in order to look Yuui square in the eye. She was one of the few women in Nihon - one of the few people in Nihon at all - who almost matched it in height. "No. You didn't. Bearing and childbirth in Nihon has always been the province of the women, and men really don't have any place in it until the child is old enough to start her education. It's been that way in our country for hundreds of years. I respected _my sister's_ right to privacy a hell of a lot more than I respect your right to know."

For a moment they locked gazes, the tension palpable in the air; Yuui broke it first, turning away. "But why?" he asked, and the anger was wavering, giving way to the anguish that had driven it. "Why did she hide it from me? Why didn't she trust me? She had to know… how painful this was going to be for me. Why did she choose to spring such a shock at the last hour?"

Kendappa sighed, and sat back down on the cushion. "Are you sure you want to know?" she asked him. "I can tell you now, since the moment of danger is passed, but you're not going to like it."

Yuui looked at her warily, then slowly seated himself on the mat across from her. "Not going to like what?" he asked.

"You're right when you said that Tomoyo is still the country's premier oracle," Kendappa said. "She can still determine the future, but it's not set, not certain. She knew from very early on that her children would be twins; but she foresaw something else, as well. Every augury she cast returned portents of danger, of death; she was getting very strong indications that one of the twins would not live."

 _"What?"_ Yuui's voice echoed in shock, and it was probably a good thing that he was sitting down, or he might have collapsed. The blood drained out of his cheeks, leaving the only color in his face the shining blue of his eyes.

Kendappa nodded grimly. "We did all we could to avert it," she said. "I won't bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say that finding Li Yelan-sensei was one of the most important factors in changing that future. The most dangerous moment was during childbirth, but it has past; both of the babies and Tomoyo live and are healthy, so the worst of the portents have been dispelled.

"But Tomoyo did not want to tell you that she was expecting twin children, if one of the children was doomed to die without even being born. She knew that it would only break your heart, and she wished to spare you the pain."

"But - when was she going to tell me?" Yuui stared at Kendappa beseechingly. "Once the child had been born, it was inevitable that I'd find out anyway!"

"Not necessarily," Kendappa said, giving Yuui a stern glance. "I told you that pregnancy and childbirth has always been the business of the women only in this country, and I meant it. So many pregnancies never come to term, so many babies unexpectedly die before their first birthday… and an infant's death, like its birth, has always been the responsibility of the mother. If one of the twins had indeed succumbed during childbirth today, then the midwives would have disposed of the poor babe quietly and without fuss. Tomoyo would have presented you with a living daughter, and you would never have needed to know."

Yuui cursed - loudly and fluently, in a language Kendappa didn't know, but there was no mistaking the tone. "Both of you!" he said savagely, reverting to  _Nihongo._ "Lording it up over others, mistresses of life and death! I am not a child to be controlled and led around by the hand, or sheltered from unpleasant truths! How  _dare_ you take that on yourselves?"

"And I'll remind you again, it was Tomoyo's decision!" Kendappa snapped, glaring angrily in return. She had never seen the normally placid foreigner in such a temper before; perhaps her sister had, but somehow she doubted it. "If you're really so determined to be your own man, tell me - why are you talking to  _me_  right now, and not to her?"

Yuui closed his eyes and turned away; he almost seemed to deflate as the anger ran out of him. "How could I?" he said in a near-whisper. "After she almost… All these months, she was in pain and afraid, and she couldn't trust me enough to tell me. Why? Why couldn't she tell me?"

"Because she knew you would have blamed yourself," Kendappa replied. "And she knew there was nothing you could have done to change things, no more than we could do together. She wished to spare you pain, Yuui Flowright, because she loves you; and you are a very lucky man."

He drew in a breath and crossed his arms over his chest; as though, with the heat of his anger no longer warming him, he was cold. "Far luckier than I deserve," he said, with a trace of self-deprecating humor. "Kendappa… you don't understand, we could have lost her. Bad enough in the past few months, when she was so big, and half the palace scolded me for being such a 'giant-boned foreigner!' That she was carrying twins…  _my_ twins, and my curse of ill luck…"

"Of all the gods in their little shrines!" Kendappa rolled her eyes heavenwards in exasperation. "This is  _exactly_  why she didn't tell you, you know, so that we wouldn't have to put up with this maudlin self-blaming for nine months. It's done, it's over with, it turned out fine. You're the father of two fine and healthy daughters, and nobody's dead, and nobody's cursed, so just get the hell over yourself already."

"Aren't they?" Yuui asked quietly, and Kendappa blinked to try to connect the statement. "What?" she said.

"Aren't they cursed," he said, in a flat, remote voice that belied the fear shining in his eyes. "One of the girls - the younger one - she has our blue eyes, Kendappa. She's just a baby, but we can already feel the magic sleeping within her. What if it's all happening over again? What if our curse - our misfortune - repeats itself all over again in the next generation? I didn't  _want_ this!"

"You don't usually get to pick what you want, when it comes to babies," Kendappa said acidly. "Look, I'm not a wizard or a priestess. If you want to know about curses, talk to Tomoyo, or to that time-space witch. All  _I_ know is that when the next generation comes, we'll have our next empress - yes, and our next Tsukuyomi, too, if you're right. Whatever comes of it, we'll deal with it; but for now, we've got brand-new babies to celebrate."

"But -" Yuui started, and Kendappa cut him off.

"It's late," she said, "we've all had an exhausting few days, and  _I'm_ going to bed. I suggest you go see Tomoyo and your new daughters, but either way, if you're not out of my room in five minutes I'm calling Souma to kick you out."

"You are a very cranky lady when you're short on sleep," Yuui observed, but a small smile played around his lips as he turned towards the door.

"Yuui," Kendappa called as he stepped out into the corridor; he stopped, looking back inquiringly.

"Tomoyo has had worry and pain enough to deal with in the last few months," she said in an unusually serious tone. "Don't make her deal with your own worries on top of her own. And if you don't want her to treat you like a child, then try acting like more of a man."

Yuui's smile faded, and he gave her a chilly bow before he turned and left.

* * *

Tomoyo dozed, floating peacefully in the state between waking and sleeping. The memory of the last two days of strain and agony was rapidly fading, but the exhaustion remained with her. Fortunately, other people seemed to be taking care of most of everything; her servants had cleaned her up and remade her bed with all fresh linens, wrapped her in a warm yukata and tucked her into bed. Her babies had been placed in the cot to the side of the bed - the double cot, she'd at least allowed herself enough hope to have one made for two - within arm's reach of the side of the bed, although it seemed so much effort to reach that distance right now and she was so very tired.

Most of all she was relieved, a bone-deep relief that seemed to come up from the bottom of her soul and fill every inch of her until there was room for nothing else. Never - not even the day that Kurogane and Fai had burst bleeding into her world amidst chaos and screams and the smell of singed flesh and hair - had she been so glad to be wrong about what the future held.

She was so tired, she would have liked to sleep - but one or another of the twins kept waking her up needing to be nursed, and whenever one stopped, the other would shortly start. So she dozed despite the quiet presences moving about her - the maids and nurses, bustling about, or Kurogane, looming with a dark and dangerous aura outside her door. He could have gone back to his rooms to rest with Fai, but he'd insisted on staying here, and she hadn't really had the strength to argue with him. No doubt Fai-san would find a way to persuade him, should he get too stubborn.

Footsteps and voices in the corridor roused her slightly, and she pulled herself out of her reverie more when the door slid open and spilled light in from the hallway. There were not many people whom Kurogane would allow past his guard so easily, and -

The golden light haloed around a kimono of green and silver, and wisping hair of gold. Tomoyo woke up even more, and her heart fluttered in her chest.

"Yuui," she whispered, and her lover came over and knelt beside the bed. He leaned over her and kissed her - that intimate gesture that he'd taught her, that she'd learned to so treasure - and she was smiling when he pulled back. "I thought you would be angry with me," she murmured.

Yuui shook his head, and she realized as the light fell on his face that his eyes were bright with tears. "Never," he said in a choked voice. "I wish you'd told me, love. I wish you hadn't had to suffer alone. But you're all right, and you've given me two daughters as beautiful as you are; how could I possibly be angry?"

 _I'm sorry,_ Tomoyo wanted to say, but she didn't; because that would have implied she regretted it, and she didn't regret anything. So she only smiled at him, and felt exhaustion drag her eyelids down again.

She felt the world about her shift and quake, and then a warm, welcome body was pressed against her own under the covers. Yuui spent a few minutes shifting them both around, until she was lying comfortably within the circle of his arms; then he gathered her hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm gently. "Sleep, love," he said huskily. "Rest well, because there's so much to do when you wake up."

"Babies," Tomoyo said sleepily, and she heard Yuui's familiar, light and husky laughter.

"That too," he said. "But I was thinking of something else. When you are recovered, Tomoyo, we are going to be married."

For a moment the words meant nothing, then Tomoyo blinked hard back to wakefulness as the meaning sank in. "What?" she asked in confusion, unsure if she had heard him correctly.

"We are going to be married," Yuui said firmly. "I want you to be my wife, Tomoyo; I want to be your husband, not only your 'consort', not only your lover. Someday, life will take you away from me, or me from you, and I don't want to have any regrets, or leave anything undone. I want to be your husband and the father of your children."

"But - the court -" Tomoyo said anxiously, and Yuui's finger came to rest on her lips.

"Be damned to the lot of them," he said, with a note of controlled savagery in his voice that she'd never heard from him before. "You're the Princess and the mother of the next Empress and the High Priestess. If any of these petty noblemen here thinks he can tell you what to do, or how you should live your life, then they can go hang by their thumbs off the castle turret."

She blinked at him, momentarily too stunned and bemused to come up with a response. This was more assertive than she had ever seen Yuui; normally he was - not exactly timid, but unassuming, always taking the path of least resistance and taking great pains not to offend or inconvenience anyone. Perhaps he'd finally come to value himself more; perhaps he'd come to realize that there were things in his life worth taking a stand for.

Not that it really mattered what had changed his mind. "Yes," she said happily, and laid her cheek down on his shoulder.

"It wasn't a question, you know," Yuui observed.

"I noticed that," Tomoyo replied. "Nevertheless: Yes, now and forever, my beloved husband. Now quiet down; I'm tired and I want to sleep."

He laughed. But at least he stopped talking, and stopped moving around, save for the quiet stroke of his thumbs over her wrist. Tomoyo drifted off to sleep, thinking how glad she was to have found this life; this life that for all her powers she'd never foreseen.

And how blessed she was for it.

* * *

~to be continued...

omake~

"Kuro-tan, come to bed."

"…"

A sigh. "Kuro-tan, come to  _bed._ You've been standing guard outside Tomoyo's room for a day and a night straight. You're going to have to leave  _sometime,_ you know."

"Hm."

"It's not like you'll be leaving them defenseless. This whole castle is bristling with perky ninja like you just  _dying_  to jump out of window and inflict mayhem on anyone who even looks in our direction funny." The voice went persuasive, wheedling. "You should go and get some rest, so you can come back later all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Ne?"

"…"

"I'll give you a massage." His voice dropped lower. "Among other things. Come  _on,_ Kuro-tan. It's been four days. I'm a brand new uncle and I want to celebrate."

"So go celebrate. Doesn't sound like the party's died down yet."

Another sigh, more aggrieved. "I want to  _celebrate_ with  _you,_ Kuro-dense. Give it a rest already - let's give the newlyweds some privacy!"

"Hm."

An angry growl, almost too low to be heard through the wall. "Kuro-stubborn, I am drunk and I am horny. If you don't come back to our rooms with me right now, so help me I am going to suck you off right here in the hallway."

"You wouldn't dare."

There followed some scuffling, the shifting of cloth over skin, and a sudden yelp - much higher pitched than usually came out of the big ninja. "Mage -"

"Hmm, Kuro-tan? That's funny, you don't normally mind when I do…  _this~"_

"Stop that!" More scuffling, and then a heavy sigh. "You are completely shameless, do you know that?"

"Yup!"

"All right, if only to keep you from completely  _scarring_ Tomoyo and the kids. They can  _hear_  right through these walls, you know."

Bubbling laughter. "I'm sure I'll get to it eventually, but why rush things?"

"Hm."

Two pairs of footsteps, walking away down the hallway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naming notes:  
> Asayo, asa-yo, morning world; Yuzuki, yuu-tsuki, gentle moon.

  


It was spring, and in a rare moment of charitable weather the entire court had eagerly seized the excuse to move outside. The cherry blossoms had almost finished dropping their leaves, and only a few pale clusters of petals still clung to the branches; but the green leaves were just starting to unfold, and they cast the castle garden in a haze of pale green light.

Amaterasu, at the central dais, was surrounded by courtiers and generals as she conducted the necessary business of state; but Tomoyo's presence as Tsukuyomi was not called for now, and so she was free to wait within call - lounge about indolently, really - by the pond with the rest of her family. Her husband and his brother sat nearby, and Kurogane and Souma lounged on the wooden step; ostensibly to guard their respective liege lords should trouble beckon, but mostly just there for the pleasure of conversation.

The conversation, as it often did, centered around her children. The twins were playing together under the shade of one of the smaller cherry trees, down by the edge of the pond.

"And you are certain they're not cursed, Tomoyo?" Yuui asked anxiously.

"I certainly don't think they can be," Tomoyo replied. They'd had this conversation more than once before, but Tomoyo understood what was driving it - not a lack of faith in her abilities, nor any doubt of her truthfulness; but old fears that had been ground into him through too many years of practice to easily dispel. Those scars, buried deep, combined with the worry born of love for his children, and drove him to seek reassurance long past the point where it would have been necessary.

"The Witch of Dimensions told you, did she not, that the Curse of the Twins was caused by the two of you having an excess of magical power?" she said, directing the comments at both Yuui and Fai, who sad nearby with a mirrored look of anxiety on his face. "And if that dangerous excess is not present, then there is no curse; you, Fai, traded half your magic in exchange for Kurogane's arm, and Yuui's own magic is restrained by the presence of the marking."

Yuui nodded, while Fai's lips quirked in a half-smile as painful memories reflected in his eyes. Tomoyo gave him a sympathetic smile, remembering those painful days when Fai had first come to Nihon, when Kurogane's life had hung in the balance. That was a bond that the two of them shared that no one else did; always a memory, if never a regret, for what they had each sacrificed for Kurogane.

"No such danger exists in our children, Yuui," Tomoyo said gently. "Only Yuzuki has shown any indications of magical talent; her sister does not. And while our daughter will no doubt be a powerful priestess some day, hopefully with both our contributions, there is no reason to think that her level of power is such to endanger the fabric of our world."

"There are other kinds of curses," Fai said in a reserved voice. He glanced at Yuui, the two of them locking eyes for a moment before they turned back towards Tomoyo. Their hands crept together, as they often did, a gesture that seemed almost unconscious.

Tomoyo sighed. "If logical supposition is not enough, then will you trust your own senses? No ill luck has befallen either on our children, ourselves, or our country since you and Kurogane returned, Fai. The weather has been good, the harvests plentiful; none of the dissident lords have been any particular trouble since the girls were born, and even on our borders we have had peace. "Although," she said, turning to include Kurogane in the conversation, "I really wish you would reconsider the post of Ambassador."

Kurogane grunted. "Princess," he said, not taking his eyes off the scene across the lake, "Don't get me wrong. I understand that when you sent me packing on my journey, it was necessary for the future to come about, and I learned a lot and gained a lot of things from that journey. All the same, I'd really rather you not make a  _habit_  of it."

Tomoyo laughed lightly. "But that's exactly why you would be a perfect ambassador, Kurogane," Tomoyo said. "You and Fai both."

Fai laughed, and Kurogane looked at her with his eyebrow just slightly raised. "Kuro-grumpy a perfect ambassador?" Fai asked. "Do tell."

Tomoyo fanned herself slowly; more to have something to do with her hands than because she was really too hot; the light canopy set up over the wooden platform overlooking the pond did a more than adequate job of keeping the sun off. "You and Fai have been to more different countries, more  _worlds_ than most people in  _this_  world could even comprehend exist," she said. "Even I myself, though I used to walk to different worlds in my dreams, never set foot there. There is literally no other person alive in Nihon today who has more experience with understanding different cultures and people than the two of you."

Kurogane made an irritable motion as though her oblique praise were a horsefly to be brushed off. "You really can't compare that to an ambassador's duties," he said. "All those worlds we went to, we just were there to get one thing done and then leave. We weren't trying to arrange treaties or negotiate trade or whatever the hell else ambassadors do. I don't have the training to play games in politics, and frankly I don't have the patience either."

Tomoyo gave him an appraising look. "I'm not sure whether you're trying to fool me or fool yourself," she said, "but either way, you underestimate your intelligence - and your skills. Besides, while you might not be as, ah, polished as our more typical diplomats, you would also have Fai."

Kurogane gave a long sigh of weary patience. "We've had this conversation half a dozen times," he said. "And it doesn't matter how qualified you think I am to be ambassador to Chuukoku, because I don't have any particular desire to go to Chuukoku. Or to Izumo, or to any of the other places an ambassador would have to go. I spent long enough just trying to get back here. My home is here, Princess."

"This will always be your home," Tomoyo said gently. "But can you really tell me - with no reservations in your heart - that you don't  _want_  to travel again, see other places? You were a warrior unsurpassed, you changed worlds; and now you find yourself confined to a castle and a village barely a few square miles in diameter. You have been pacing your chambers in the dead of winter, and the palace guards have finally mutinied of the ever more elaborate scenarios you try to put them in for the sake of 'training.' Tell me truly, Kurogane; are you not restless for new walls, new horizons?"

This was met by a stubborn silence, and Tomoyo smiled to herself. He wouldn't say "yes," because that would be one step closer to giving in to her; but he couldn't say "no" because it would be a lie.

"My home is here," he repeated stubbornly instead. "My place is here. Defending you, and the girls."

He looked back at the water, and this time Tomoyo's gaze followed his; a part of her mind had always, always been on her children. Five springs had come and gone since the twins had been born, and one some mornings Tomoyo was still astonished by how quickly they had grown, shooting up like saplings.

They were as alike in appearance as reflections in a mirror, but from the very beginning differences had begun to show between them. Asayo was technically the eldest - by less than an hour, but in questions of succession that hour was all that mattered. From the very first day she had been noisier, more demanding, faster to pick up words (if only so that she could demand that the things she named be given to her.) She was quick to laugh and quick to burst into angry tears, going from one to another mood like a cloud passing swiftly over the sun and then gone.

Yuzuki, whose eyes had only darkened to a clear blue - unlike her sister's deep brown - had always been quieter. By their first birthday Asayo had already begun speaking her first words, but Yuzuki hardly even seemed to try - not that she needed to, of course, with Asayo constantly 'translating' on her behalf. Her father had fretted for months until finally, at the age of two and a half, Yuzuki suddenly spoke - perfectly formed sentences, with words they each could have sworn they'd never taught her. That formed the pattern for the years to follow, with Asayo barging impatiently ahead to try new things, and Yuzuki trailing calmly behind to master them while the adults were not looking.

Both of them had the adults of their family, and indeed all of the castle staff, wrapped firmly around their tiny fingers, and Kurogane had fallen harder than most. Kurogane had always been firmly devoted to serving and protecting his princess. The arrival of new princesses -  _two_ new princesses - two young, adorable,  _helpless_  new princesses who were utterly defenseless (and also utterly incapable of telling him off) had sent Kurogane into something of a guardian overdrive.

For weeks after the birth of the twins he had lurked menacingly on the roof over the nursery where the babies slept, ignoring all of Fai's complaints - and Yuui's - and Souma's, and the rest of the castle guards - until Tomoyo herself had had to firmly admonish him to stand down.

This refusal to leave their side was just another facet of the same thing, Tomoyo knew. Even the relative peace of the last few years, with few martial disturbances and no attacks on the castle itself, had not caused him to relax his vigil. But he would have to admit, sooner or later, that the twins would get by all right without him - just as Tomoyo had.

Because, Tomoyo thought sadly, someday her daughters would grow up; and as the empress and the high priestess of Nihon, they would find themselves faced with a world of dangers that "Kuro-ojisan" could not protect them from.

If the time came that she really needed Kurogane and Fai's services as ambassadors to Chuukoku, Tomoyo decided, she would turn the problem over to Fai and let him be the one to convince his stubborn lover. For all that they bantered, for all that Fai teased and Kurogane growled, she knew that her dear friend could not deny anything Fai truly wanted of him for very long.

In the meantime the sun was bright, the garden was full of green light, and the still waters of the pond perfectly reflected the images of two children playing under a cherry tree as their guardians watched from an indulgent distance.

The idyllic scene was cut by a sudden shriek; Kurogane came to his feet, and two blond heads and a dark one turned towards the source of the noise as Souma, Yuui and Fai all reacted. The girls had been playing some sort of clapping-game with indecipherable rules; any attempt to explain the game to adults tended to break down into the twins' personal gibberish that they used to communicate only between themselves. But somehow, something had gone wrong; and now the twins were squabbling in loud indignant voices where just moments ago they had been playing in perfect harmony.

The nursemaid hurried in to separate them before Tomoyo or Kurogane could move; she set them apart and spoke in quiet, placating tones that failed to carry across the distance. Asayo whined and stamped her foot, but her protest was overruled by the nurse; Yuzuki gave her sister a gloating smirk.

Puffed up with injured dignity like a cat, Asayo turned and stamped away from her sister. She went to the nearest tree and attacked it with great gusto, pulling herself up along the trunk and teetering precariously on the branches.

"Oh, for gods' sake," Kurogane said. "Who taught her to climb trees like that? She could fall and break her neck!" He hopped off the platform and started around the pond, towards them.

"Now, Kurogane," Fai said with an impish grin. "I hardly think you would be one to forbid her from climbing trees, when from everything I've heard you were quite the agile little tree-climber yourself as a child. I'm sure she can handle a few scraped palms and bruised knees!"

"I wasn't going to try to forbid her from climbing," Kurogane shot back. "It's a good skill to know. But if she's going to climb, then I might as well teach her how to do it right."

As her sister stomped off, Yuzuki tossed her long hair behind her and settled herself back on the long grass above the pond. She picked up a doll which the nursemaid had brought out for her and cradled it in the crook of her arms, talking quietly to it in a nonsense language as she moved the doll's head up and down in response.

Yuui watched his daughter with shadowed eyes, the corners of his mouth pulled tight. "I don't know what to do when they act like that," he said under his breath, and Fai nodded emphatically.

"I don't see what you're so worried about," Souma said, watching Yuzuki at play. "Dolls, climbing trees, playing house, it's all little girl stuff."

Fai just shook his head, and Yuui sighed, wondering how to explain it. He knew Souma thought that he fussed too much, and he knew she had reason to think so. Yuui's own childhood - long lost in patchy strands of nightmare - had been so bad, he often felt like he honestly didn't know what he was doing. Thank the gods for Tomoyo - sweet, patient, wise Tomoyo who always seemed to know just what to do without ever making him feel like less of a man for not knowing himself.

But watching his daughters at times like these - the times when they squabbled and argued and sometimes even fought, wrestling or pulling hair or even scratching each other with the furious abandon of the very young - made him feel that something was dreadfully wrong. He had never fought like that with his brother. Never. And from the little Fai had been willing to share about his own long-buried childhood, Fai and his brother had never clashed so violently as children either.

He and his brother had always been close, so close, as close as one person wearing two skins could be. Yuui had thought that was because they were twins, that all twins were like that - it was just a mark of how different they were from normal people. But Asayo and Yuzuki were different, and that distressed him on levels he couldn't even fully name.

"I just don't understand - why they aren't close," he said lamely, trying to find some way to give his fears a voice.

"They're pretty damn close already," Souma said. "They play together, eat together, bathe together, and half the time they crawl into each other's cots and sleep together. How much closer do you want them to be?"

"But look at them," Fai protested, and Yuui shot his brother a grateful look. "Asayo is climbing trees - Yuzuki never wants to do that, she refuses to do anything that will get her dress dirty. And Yuzuki is the only one that likes dolls. I tried to give a doll to Asa-chan the other day and she just threw it away."

"It's more than that," Yuui butted in, feeling Fai was not explaining the problem very well. "Recently it seems like - everything they want to do is opposites. If one of them wants a toy, the other doesn't want it. If one of them doesn't like a food, the other will immediately claim it's her favorite food  _ever._  Why are they being like this?"

That last question came out more helplessly than he would have liked, and Kendappa snorted in exasperation and shook her head.

"It's perfectly normal," Tomoyo reassured them. "The two of you were so very close in part, I think, because you had no one else... you clung together for support because apart from each other, you were alone. But our children have us, and so many others to love and help them; they don't  _need_  to cling to each other for comfort and safety.

"Neither of you were ever in the position of being the younger sibling… but I was. Growing up with Kendappa, I could be quite contrary!" She smiled reminiscently.

"I find that hard to believe!" Fai commented.

"I don't," Yuui said, and laughed at the mock pout Tomoyo gave him.

" Everything I did just  _had_  to be different from the things  _she_ did, just because she was the one who had done them first," Tomoyo explained. "Like in our music lessons - she learned to play an instrument, so I insisted on learning to sing instead. I wanted something that would be only mine, something that would be only me. Asayo and Yuzuki are doing the same thing, that's all."

"And besides," Souma added in. "Just because they're twins doesn't mean they're exactly the same. Just look at you two. Even if you never got into screaming matches like the girls when you were little, you're not exactly the same either."

"What do you mean?" Yuui and Fai chorused as one, with the same defensive note in each of their voices, and Souma burst out laughing.

"Oh please, do I really have to say it? You two are  _not_  the same! You're different people. I mean, one of you married a gorgeous princess and the other shacked up with a ninja with more muscles than brains, how could you get more opposite than that?"

She'd meant it as a joke - probably - but Fai flushed scarlet and Yuui couldn't help his own reaction; his face drained cold, and he lowered his head and stared fixedly at the roots of the trees as though they contained a hidden answer.

"Yuui?" Fai said, and his twin's voice was so full of hurt and reproach that he couldn't bear to raise his head to see the expression that went with it. He shook his head, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"What?" Souma said. "I'm just sayin' -"

"Could we be alone for a minute, please?" Fai cut across her, and there was a moment of shocked silence. He stood up and pulled on his twin's hand, away from the canopied wooden platform and into the shadow under the trees.

"All right, Yuui, this has gone on long enough," Fai said, and his voice was quiet but held an edge of steel. "You've always had a problem with Kurogane and me, and I've never understood why."

"It's not like that," Yuui said quickly, and looked up to meet Fai's gaze. "I - I never said anything to him, or to you, that I didn't like it. I wouldn't."

"Did you think that if you didn't say anything, I wouldn't notice?" Fai said acidly, but there was a note of real pain in his voice. " Look, I know that Kurogane's never exactly been your favorite person in this world, but this isn't just about him. This is about  _me_ and him, and if you -"

"I don't," Yuui interrupted him. "I - I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain this. I don't have anything against Kurogane. He - he makes you happy, and I thank him for that, even if we'll never exactly be bosom buddies."

"So it's  _me_  you have the problem with?" Fai said, his voice cracking. "You think I'm, what, a pervert? A freak?"

"No!" Yuui's voice rose high enough on that that Souma and Tomoyo, chatting with each other a dozen yards away, looked up in surprise. Yuui hurriedly lowered his volume.

"Please don't," Yuui said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I don't think that. I don't… I don't know how to say this."

"Try," Fai said, his voice slightly ragged around the edges.

"I just don't…" Yuui raised his hands helplessly. "It's - it's like the girls all over again. I don't understand how we could be twins and - and be so _different,_ about such a… such a basic, fundamental thing. We're the same. We  _should_  be the same, and if you love men then what does that say about me? I - every time I see you two together, every time I'm reminded, then I just can't help but think… I can't help but wonder that you aren't really  _him._  Or else that  _I'm_  not really… your brother."

He ran down helplessly. Fai's face could have been carved out of wood, it was so expressionless. "I'm sorry," Yuui said in a small voice. "I know I'm being stupid, and selfish -"

"Yeah, you really are," Fai said.

Yuui flinched, his mouth tightening, but he couldn't really say anything to that. Fai drew in a deep breath of his own, and brought his hands up to press against his face.

"Yuui," he said in a helpless voice. "You  _are_  my brother, and I love you. But this… this isn't really about you, okay. What's between Kurogane and me, it isn't about you. I never…"

He ran down, stopped to collect his thoughts, then went on. "I never thought about men that way, when I was younger," he went on in a more normal tone. "I can't say I ever really looked at women, either. But if you think me liking men is the same as having the same color hair or eyes, or being allergic to mushrooms - something that both twins should share - it's just not that simple.

"Kurogane saved my life, Yuui," Fai said, with a quiet simplicity like the sun rising. "In so many, many ways. He saved me from dying, and he also gave me my soul back. He was the first one since my brother died to see me as I truly was, and to really believe all the same that  _I was worth something._ He was the first one who kept faith with me, the  _first_  one, who made me understand that life could be more than betrayal and pain. He cracked open my shell and he peeled me out and dragged me to stand in the sunlight, he sacrificed more for me than I ever thought I was worth and he's never regretted it, not for a day. He taught me to  _love_  again, Yuui, and it didn't matter whether he was a man or a woman or a green blob monster from Vega with three eyes and tentacles. It didn't  _matter._

"Love was never about men and women to me," Fai finished. "Love was… about Kurogane."

"Papa?" A clear, high voice broke into their argument. Yuui jumped, Fai did a double-take, and both brothers looked down to see Yuzuki standing beside them. The doll was still in her arms, and she looked up at them with large, solemn blue eyes the same shade as their own. His daughters were so beautiful, so perfect, that Yuui sometimes forgot that they were his as well as Tomoyo's; but Yuzuki's eyes always reminded him.

She looked worried, and Yuui wondered anxiously how much of the conversation she could have overheard - or understood. He cleared his throat. "What is it, cabbage?" he asked, using the nickname he'd adopted for her.

Yuzuki looked from one of them to the other, her face creased in a frown. Then it smoothed out, and she turned towards her father. "Fai-oji, come play with me," she said. "I want to read Tama-chan a story, and I want you to help." She held up her doll - named Tama-chan after one of the palace cats - in appeal.

"Yuzu-chan, I could tell you a story," Fai offered, taking a quick glance at his brother's face.

"No!" Yuzuki said sharply, and he stared at her in surprise. Yuzuki usually took such pains to be sweet and demure, he sometimes forgot that she could be as strong-willed as her sister. "I want Papa to do it! You're not the  _same_!"

"What?" Yuui said in surprise, and Yuzuki pointed one tiny finger at him.

"When Fai-oji tells stories, he does voices and noises," she said. "When Papa tells stories, he draws pictures to go with them. They're  _not_  the same. And Tama-chan wants to see the pictures!"

"Um… of course I'll come tell you a story," Yuui said, blinking rapidly. Yuzuki's face split in a broad smile, and she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the edge of the pond. Before she could pull him off, Yuui impulsively turned and put his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Fai… I never looked at any women either," Yuui said breathlessly, and Fai stared at him in astonishment. Yuui gave him a wan smile. "Not before I met Tomoyo. Oh, I noticed that they were pretty, and I complimented on their clothes or hair because it was an easy way to make myself pleasant… but I never really  _felt_  anything for any of them. Tomoyo was… the first person to ask me stay. To make me welcome. The first one to  _understand_ me, and to accept that person that she understood. She found a way to cure my curse, and then she cured  _me_  so that the curse didn't matter any more."

Fai smiled, bright and warm and Yuui had never wanted anything else from this, his brother, except for him to be so happy. "I'm grateful for Tomoyo, then," he said.

"So am I," Yuui said. "Every day."

Fai went back to the canopy where Tomoyo and Souma were still waiting, and she smiled at him as he settled down again and looked out over the garden. Somewhere in the interval, Asayo had decided that the tree she had tried to climb was not enough challenge and moved on to a bigger one. The branches were too high for her to grab, so Kurogane put his hands around her waist and boosted her above his head, and Fai's heart nearly burst with love.

"It can't last forever," he said, the last remnants of the fear and heartbreak that his old life had taught him.

"Nothing lasts forever," Tomoyo said quietly, and when he looked over at her he saw the same love shining in her eyes as she looked at her husband. Yuui was seated cross-legged on the grass, Yuzuki leaning against his side as he sketches on the piece of paper in his lap and talked the story to her. "But we have today."


End file.
